The Talk

Today my doctor came in and we went over how Tuesday morning would play out.  As we have experienced with many of our hospital visits and surgeries with our 8 year old daughter, we know it is necessary to discuss the best case scenarios along with the worse case scenarios.  There is still a possibility that I will need a blood transfusion & there is still a chance that I could have a hysterectomy. This paved the way for emotions to surface. 

When our 8 year old underwent  open heart surgery at 6 days old and was diagnosed with DiGeorge Syndrome, for the first few days I went into denial.  I kept thinking that if I didn't face the facts of our reality and could convince myself that she was fine, than she would be.  Well this way of thinking didn't bring any hope to the situation and would cause greater heartache in the end when I was faced to deal with the truth and all of the possibilities that lied ahead. Slowly I came to understand that it's okay for things to go not quite as we had hoped for, because after all was said and done she was okay.  Not our definition of okay, but in Heavenly Father's eyes and plan she was and is okay.  

Is it easier to know the end from the beginning...of course, but where would the growth come from.  It isn't easy thinking of the possibility that my body may not be able to bring more children into our family.  However, it will be okay.  Why? Because Heavenly  Father will make it okay.  Does the thought of a c- section excite me, heavens no.  But when I stop to think about all that my little 8 year old has been through in her short 8 years of life with multiple surgeries and procedures, I am strengthened by her example to press on no matter the outcome.